Who Am I

Who Am I?

MisfitToy-HopeAllowedI remember when I was a child, my family would gather around the TV to watch those classic Christmas shows. Traditionally, the kids would get in our pajamas in anticipation for the popcorn Dad would prepare, with butter of course, and we would all sit in the family room with mom and dad and watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I remember feeling sad for Rudolph as other reindeer would make fun of his red nose. I also remember the island of misfit toys and how these toys had been left on an island because they were not “right”.

What little boy or little girl would want a toy that wasn’t made correctly or the way we think it should have been made? The jack-in-the-box toy was an unwanted toy because his name was Charlie, not Jack. Charlie was on the island of misfit toys because he had the wrong name. He was left out because he could not be considered as a gift that would be loved by a child. Someone decided that Charlie was not fit to be loved. But it doesn’t mean that was true.

What do I call myself?

When I consider how I feel about Christmas since my divorce, I think about the idea of being a misfit, one who got sent to the island of misfit wives. The one who the husband decided wasn’t “right”. Then I think about my name. The name that had “Mrs.” in front of it. The last name I took on when I got married. It seemed like I had the wrong name. If I was no longer a Mrs. and no longer had his last name, who was I? Is that who I identified myself as? My first name didn’t change. People still knew who I was, I just wasn’t married anymore. But did I know who I was? Do I know who I am?

I don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

No one is perfect. I certainly have things to work on in my life and I imagine I always will. I like this time of my life when I am taking an introspective look at how I can become a healthy and loving woman on this earth. I am now a Mrs. again and took the last name of my husband. I know that my identity is not being a Mrs. or taking on a new last name. I may have flaws, but I am loved by God. I used to think God didn’t love me. But I was wrong. I began to get to know him and decided to enter into a relationship with him. He doesn’t see me as a misfit person. He sees me as his daughter. A beautiful, special woman. My identity is daughter of the King and I am a treasure and a pearl.


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