One of my goals for 2016 is to de-clutter my home. I was prepared for some emotions to bubble up as I rid my home of possessions I know longer need or no longer give me joy. As I pondered certain items I decided to purge a table lamp and remembered there were also two matching ceiling lights.
A friend offered me a chandelier that she no longer needed from her home. I decided this was the time to replace the ceiling lights that matched the lamp. While trying to find a new home for the matching light set, it seemed no one wanted to take all three. For some reason, this triggered the emotions of anger and sadness. I wondered why I was feeling this way. I mean, after all, it’s reasonable for someone to only want one of the three items so why did I want them to only be received as a set?
I thought more deeply and recognized because it’s a lamp family and I didn’t want the lamp family to be split up, separated or to live without each other. I began to realize that this lamp family reminded me of my family when the divorce happened. Our family was split up, separated and no longer able to live with each other. When the divorce happened I felt unloved and unwanted. I felt alone and singled out like a discarded family member—like a lamp without a matching set.
I know I have hope because I’m healing from past hurts and was glad I could identify the root of my anger and sadness while de-cluttering my home. I’m thankful for my new chandelier. It brings more light and joy into my home. I’m also thankful for my husband who sees me as a treasure and a pearl.