Last week, number three in the series was giving up or giving in is not the same as compromise. This week number four is: always doing what your spouse wants when it isn’t want you want without speaking up is not ok. In one word this statement can be described as “appeasement,” which is defined as the state of being appeased; the policy of giving in to a demand in order to preserve the peace; to dispel anger or hatred.
One of the things I learned when I was a child was that whenever my abuser came to me I didn’t have much of a voice or vocabulary like “no” or “stop it.” I just felt like I had to give up and give in because I didn’t have any power. In my mind my feelings didn’t matter. I was invisible.
My Mom gifted me with a little snowman angel of hope when I was going through my divorce. At the time I didn’t feel I had very much hope but my Mom knew there would be hope in my future relationships so I leaned on her hope.