Thankful for My Gut Feeling
I am learning to listen to my gut. You know, that feeling you get when something isn’t quite right. I have recently become more aware of my gut feeling. I am also becoming more aware of when I dismiss it or only listen to it for a while, but give up on it.
The latest event was when I was served a dish of pasta at a restaurant. I have celiac disease, which is an autoimmune disease. So this isn’t a food fad decision for me, it is a necessity for me to keep gluten away from my body. At this particular restaurant the server knows me, and has heard me request the details of the menu being served each time I eat there for over the last 4 years. So I know this guy gets it. When he brought out the pasta dish on the menu that day, I asked him if it was gluten free. He said Yes. I have seen gluten free noodles and know how they behave, and noticed that the noodles seemed to be gluten free. But there was a second noodle in the dish. That one seemed unlikely to be gluten free. So I asked again, pointing out both noodles. He insisted that the whole plate was gluten free without a doubt. I believed him. So I began to eat. For some reason I only began to eat the noodle I was familiar with. The other noodle was easy to eat around. Why did I do that? I decided to try the other noodle. It definitely had a taste of wheat so I left the rest on the plate. But he said it was gluten free, so it must be. I felt fine, so I guess my instinct was wrong. Although my behavior of not eating the other noodle seemed to contradict that head knowledge.
The effect of not listening to your gut feeling.
About 2 ½ hours later, I was with a friend and started to act funny. I felt like I was hungry or something. I asked for a banana and glass of water. After eating and drinking, I felt the same. So I now know, I wasn’t feeling hunger. This is the feeling when I have a reaction to gluten.
I decided to call the restaurant, but this time, talked to the chef directly. I asked about the lunch menu item for the day and he said it was NOT gluten free. I told him the story of how the server insisted it was gluten free. Apparently it had one gluten free noodle and the other was not gluten free. Unfortunately, the server must have misunderstood the chef before serving the dish to me. I have been pondering to myself about why I didn’t listen to my gut.
Being aware of your gut feeling…
One thing that happens when a child is sexually abused, they can lose the sense of “listening to their gut” when something isn’t quite right. My gut listening skills are poor and I am learning to build up that skill. This gluten meal is a good indication that I am becoming more aware, but I am not quite there.
Next time I will be more assertive in pursuing an answer to my question directly from the chef. I will take more of a stance of protection for myself when I have that gut feeling that something isn’t right. I am worth it. It never hurts to be on the side of caution when it comes to gut feelings about something. I am going to listen more closely and honor that feeling. Because I am a treasure and a pearl.