The Emotion of Sadness and Its Friend, Crying
One of the things that I learned growing up is not to show my emotions. Sometimes we can hide our feelings pretty well, but when it comes to sadness that’s a hard one to keep inside for too long. Sometimes that sadness creeps out in places where you didn’t know it would come out.
It’s okay to cry, if you cry. But for me that’s been really hard. What if someone asked me what was wrong? Growing up, I believed it was better not to cry, and then I forgot how. But lately, its been hard for me to keep my feelings inside.
So then the moment came, a wonderful moment arrived, where I was going to take a photo shoot for my business, Hope Allowed. It was a bright sunny day, and I thought, this is just for me. Just for me to get some beautiful photos. Its going to be good.
When emotions can’t be held back…
And then something happened. The photographer, this young woman, started telling me how beautiful I was and how wonderful, how gorgeous. And interestingly that was hard to take. But I still put on the photo shoot smile. Then the sun moved and she asked me to stand under a weeping willow tree. The branches were gently rustling in the breeze and there were wonderful open spaces beneath the branches. Behind me, green strands were tickling me. And she went on again, complimenting me, flooding me with kind words. I felt my insides stirring, a new feeling started to rise within me. I tried to get my head about me and instructed her to take a picture showing what an embrace looks like because I wanted to show others a hopeful posture.
When I put my arms around myself, I began to cry. Right there. In the middle of the photo shoot, in front of this stranger, I began to let loose. So I had to stop it because, my thinking said, ‘That’s not right.’ But because I knew I hadn’t been able to cry, or embrace my emotion of sadness at all, I decided that my photo needed to be embracing that emotion, my emotion. So I asked her to continue taking pictures, even as I cried. Tears streamed down my face as she clicked her camera lens, moving about me. Finally, she asked me to look up. And that’s when I had let go, crying, sobbing, embracing myself and feeling the tears wash my face. The photos needed to capture something I wasn’t willing to show. The floodgates opened as I held my sweet, shaking self.
I value my emotions.
I learned that day that through the eyes of the lens I am able to have my emotion, sadness, with its friend crying. I am able to be part of the moment I embraced at this point in time. My emotions are valuable, and so am I.
And these days, even when I’m crying, I’m still a Treasure and a Pearl.