In the series called The Truth Is Not Delicate I describe a list of unhealthy thoughts and/or behaviors about what I may have taught my daughters as they grew up in a home with a young mom (me) involved in an abusive marriage and who was just discovering that she was sexually abused as a child. Last week, number six in this series was making excuses for my spouse’s poor behavior to protect him is not ok. This week number seven in the series is: allowing my spouse to treat me disrespectfully is not ok.
Last week, the subject of number five in the blog series The Truth Is Not Delicate was teaching my daughters that it’s not ok to cry, is not ok. This week I have decided to take a break from the list to let you know what my God revealed to me. You can expect me to get back on track with blog number six next week.
Last week, number three in the series was giving up or giving in is not the same as compromise. This week number four is: always doing what your spouse wants when it isn’t want you want without speaking up is not ok. In one word this statement can be described as “appeasement,” which is defined as the state of being appeased; the policy of giving in to a demand in order to preserve the peace; to dispel anger or hatred.
One of the things I learned when I was a child was that whenever my abuser came to me I didn’t have much of a voice or vocabulary like “no” or “stop it.” I just felt like I had to give up and give in because I didn’t have any power. In my mind my feelings didn’t matter. I was invisible.