Recently, I attended church with a friend I was visiting in another town. The service was about baptism. I love seeing people get baptized. I love seeing people make that decision so I thought I was going to be an observer. And I thought it was going to be a service that I had heard many times. But as I sat in the pew watching, something started calling out to me.
Sometimes when I think about how my past has affected me, I feel very broken, very damaged. It’s not always a bad thing, I guess. And I think about my healing journey, that a lot of that brokenness I feel is healing.
In Ecclesiastes in the bible it talks about there being a time to weep and a time to laugh. I need to remember when I am crying, that it’s not always going to be like this.
Something began to stir within me and I knew I needed a moment to process. I felt like going outside to have a moment alone with a beautiful view on a sunny day. I sat down on a big rock. And I just started to cry, and as I did, I really acknowledged the depth of some of my feeling, and my sense of loss over things I had experienced.